The Escapades of Minish Link and Lady Stars
by From Beyond The Stars
Summary: One day in Hylia Palace, Lady Stars makes a horrible discovery! TINGLE IS A REDEAD! So brave Chief Knight Minish Link and his Vassals set off on a epic quest; all for a kiss from his Lady...and lover. Crackfic.


Alright, so, Me and Vaati's Shadow know eachother on Zeldapedia (where he is Minish Link) and we basically messed around on one of my blogs and my talk page, concocting up a grand tale. Here is my, his and other peoples posts, meshed and condensed into a story.

* * *

All was _not_ well at Hylia Palace, a beautiful castle in the middle of Lake Hylia, home to Lady Stars and Lord Link. Lady Stars had made a shocking discovery: Tingle, was infact, a ReDead! Horrified at this discovery, she ran out to her balcony. "HYRULEANS, ZELDAPEDIANS, GAMERS, LEND ME YOUR RATHER LOVELY AND POINTY EARS! THE FOUL BEAST THAT IS TINGLE IS ACTUALLY A FOULER BEAST; THE REDEAD!" she cried to her people (Well, Zelda's, but Stars being the wife of The Hero of Time was a more popular 'Queen' nowadays)

From the rabbling crowd, the mayhem and dischord, stepped a proud figure. The Chief Knight, Minish Link! He looked to his Lady and cried back "WE SHOULD SEND THE VASSALS TO GO AND FIND THIS HUMAN-POSER 'TINGLE' IMMEDIATLEY!" Seeing this as a excuse to steal another kiss from her chief knight behind her husbands back, the Lady of Hyrule made her first royal decree.

"AND THUS IT IS DONE! Royal Decree #Mudkip: The first person to bring me a SHRUBBERY no wait TINGLE'S HEAD will be rewarded with a Royal Kiss!" She declared, and thus did the Vassals get called.

Minish Link was deciding on what to do. He wished he could get the reward, but he didn't want to get that foul head! "Vassals, you heard the lady! Go find Tingle's Head and take it to the Lady! (Or me, so I can claim the reward!)

So thus the Vassals went and found the foul Tingle, slicing his head off and presenting it before the Lady. Minish Link strode up to her. "Oh loyal Minish Link, Chief Knight and most Trusted Advisor, are these darling little Vassals yours? And what do they have here? TINGLES HEAD?! Oh joyous days! Come forward, brave Knight, and receive your reward!" she said, winking.

The Vassals were not impressed "Chief, I thought since _we_ got the head, _we_ get the reward!" they grumbled. Minish Link looked at them "I told you to bring Tingle's head so I could get-uh, for fun! No reward for you guys!" The glared at him and he kneeled down before the beautiful Lady Stars.

She bent forward to give him a kiss, but Tingle, headless, burst through the doors " HEY BUDDEH! I'M HERE 2 AND IMA GOTS MAH HEAD SO SHUDDENT I GET TAH REWORD?!?!?!?!?!?!?111" He cried, stumbling toward her. Minish Link gasped "HE'S ALIVE, RUN!"

But there was no need to fear. "Time to call back the husband" she whistled and Link came through the doors, impaling Tingle, kissing his wife, glaring at Minish Link and going back to saving another kingdom.

She bent forward again and gave Minish a Royal Kiss.

_"You got the royal kiss! You could get used to this!"_

But suddenly, Lady Stars realized the work was incomplete! "ROYAL DECREE #FUCKYEAHSEAKING: All copies of Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland, Love Balloon Trip and Balloon Fight are to be burned! The first person to tell me they're burned gets a royal kiss! *wink wink nudge nudge hint hint* "

The Vassals and Brave Knight Pie looked to Minish Link "Awaiting your orders, Sir" they said, standing to attention. "Guys- Remember that Hylian Landfill filled with Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland and Love Balloon Trip, and Balloon Fight? Let's go get King Dodongo to do some work..."

The Vassals began to talk amongst themselves "I'd better get some rewards this time *nudge nudge hint hint*" one of them nudgenudgedhinthinted. Minish Link snorted "Sorry, rewards are for the Hero of Time only-" the Vassals rose their spears, angry he had called himself the Hero of Time, when that was the Lord's title! "Okay, okay, rewards for the vassals!"

The Lady smiled "Of course!" she handed each Vassal a Orange Rupee and a wink, one Vassal fainted "Now, go and rid Hyrule of those foul games!"

The Vassals grinned "Yes Ma'am!" and they marched to the Landfill "Chief, what is that?!" one Vassal cried. A giant Golem made from cheesy overpriced Tingle games appeared. "NOOOO! BURN IT, BURN IT NOW!" Minish Link cried

Meanwhile, back at the palace, Lady Stars sent out her three pet Snow Wolfos, Peach, Daisy and Rosalina to help Minish Link. When they arrived, they accidently froze the Vassals, so Minish Link and his vice chief knight AuronKaizer broke the beast Ilia from the dungeons and set her upon the Golem.

After she finished destroying the golem, Minish Link stood back and admired her work "Good job... um, Ilia... you sure know how to break stuff..." he said. "Yesh, I can breaks stuff all dayz! I broke that queen's bed, and smashed her horsie-" Ilia began. Minish froze "What queen?" Ilia grinned manically "Oh, that Stars one- I breaked all her stuff!"

Minish Link's eyes widened "NOOO VASSALS! PIE! QUICK! RUN AWAY! WHEN STARS FINDS OUT WE'RE DEAAAAAAD MEAAAAT!"

They all ran back to the palace. "WHY IS MY ONE-OF-A-KIND TRIFORCE MIRROR SMASHED? WHY IS ALL MY STUFF SMASHED?! MIIIIIIIINNNNIIIIIIIISH!" Lady Stars screeched

"Well...um...Ilia kinda destroyed all your stuff...and stole your necklace...yeah..." he ran off, leaving a note on her bedside table.

Stars grabbed the note and ran after Ilia "GRRRRRRRRRR!! MY NECKLACE"

TO BE CONTINUED....MAYBE


End file.
